Trusting

This week was a rough one! I couldn't seem to get a break from being attacked. One thing after another just seemed to crumble and I'm not sure if this is a time of being tested or if God is closing some doors and opening others. I know for sure my husband will stand by me and support me through anything we face as a family. He is so encouraging and I cannot thank him enough!!! It's the weekend and I surprised him with french toast in bed for taking the time out of his day to be there by my side this week. He deserves breakfast in bed every day!

We have two trips to look forward to. Beirut next weekend and the states in two weeks. I am ready to be somewhere else!!! I feel so different in these two places..it's freedom! I just feel trapped in Cairo...more like cornered and my instincts are to fight or flight. Well, I'm done fighting.

Just being honest, but I'm not sure what the future has in store for us. We have so much to consider with Annabelle's arrival and with Jordan's job. I'm off in the spring for maternity leave, so that gives us some flexibility to make decisions on what's next. Just be in prayer over these changes. I can't see what's in store, but the Lord can!

Annabelle has been keeping me up at night with all the squirming she is doing! It is really exciting to feel her moving around! Every time I sleep on my stomach(which is most comfortable for me), she wakes me up. She is much bigger now! Almost the size of a ruler. My belly is officially a hand magnet and the kids love to put their ear up to it thinking they can hear Annabelle. It's funny!! They are so protective and tell me that I shouldn't bend over or move anything in the class. I'm thankful the kids are being so helpful and nurturing! They will make great parents in the future!

I am excited to have some people coming into town this weekend and later in the week. I think that they will help take my mind off things. I really don't need to be sitting around worrying! I need to be spending time in fellowship.

My goal this week: Trust in the Lord.

Anxious!!!

I was at the doctor yesterday and I was explaining to her that I have been very anxious about everything and not able to sleep well at night. We were asking her a ton of questions like we do every session and I found myself interrupting mid-sentence to ask another question. She then turned to Jordan and asked if I was anxious before getting pregnant. Sadly, yes!

I figured it would help to write out exactly what I am anxious about and pray over one area at a time. Thank goodness I am not in control and the Lord is! I need Him to remind me every time I start to worry that He has a plan!

Here is my list. Please pray that I would not have these burdens on my heart for very long:

1. Terrified of labor (watched some real birth videos and they just look so painful!)
2. Not being able to feel the baby move yet
3. Trying not to get sick from all the germs at school
4. Not doing enough around the house
5. Overdoing it at work
6. The empty nursery (more like a storage room)
7. The stuff we have to do in the states in one week
8. The mess of paperwork it takes to get our child a passport
9. Convincing Jordan that I need new shoes (my feet are seriously getting bigger)
10. My never-ending to-do list (this is before a baby...ahhhh)